title: modern day noahAnd the Lord spoke to Noah & said: “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water & all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark.” And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for the Ark. “OK,” said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. “Six months, and it starts to rain,” thundered the Lord. “You’d better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time.”And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. “Noah,” shouted the Lord, “where is my Ark?”A lighting bolt crashed to the ground next to Noah. “Lord, please forgive me!” begged Noah. “I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn’t meet code. So i had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbors objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince U.S.Fish and Wildlife that I needed wood to save the owls. But they wouldn’t let me catch any owls. So no owls. Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have 16 carpenters going on the boat and still no owls. Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn’t complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn’t take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being. Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.
Right now I’m still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I’m susposed to hire, the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I’m trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just got a notice from the state about owing some kind of use tax. I really don’t think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years,” Noah wailed. The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbowarched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. “You mean you’re not going to destroy the earth?” Noah asked, hopefully. “No,” said the Lord sadly, “Government already has”
Другие работы по теме:
The Notebook Essay Research Paper The Notebook
The Notebook Essay, Research Paper The Notebook “I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.” (P. 192) Nicholas Sparks novel, The Notebook, uses descriptive language, universal themes, and well developed characters to examine one mans love and devotion for a woman.
How There Are Different Looking Animals In
This World(Myth) Essay, Research Paper In the beginning before the great storm, lived a follower of god named Noah. The Earth had only one continent with many beautiful animals. Noah the watcher of these creatures received a message from god. One night, Noah prayed to God for an answer of why the animals seemed uneasy lately and how to solve it, god then let him in on the secret of the great storm to come.
Beowulf Vs Bond Essay Research Paper James
Beowulf Vs. Bond Essay, Research Paper James Bond, created by Ian Flemming, shows the attributes of a modern hero: he is Intelligent, charismatic, attractive, and cool and collect at all times. Anything is justified in getting the job done, and he uses deception, trickery, and gadgets to surpass his opponents.
Modern Day Prophets Essay Research Paper What
Modern Day Prophets Essay, Research Paper What is a Prophet? The most common definition of this word is spokesman, or one who speaks for or on behalf of someone. Prophets were sent out on a well defined and specified mission entrusted to them, by God, to guide mankind along the path of righteousness. They were charged with the responsibility of conveying to the believers the commandments.
Comparison Between Noah And Gilgamesh Essay Research
Paper In two different stories it has been depicted that two men have had their lives spared by God. Several questions are asked to find out why. Why save anyone? Why not just kill of all men instead of sparing two distinct but similar men for the same kind? There are several stories that depict earthly destruction and the destruction of the human race.
What Is Modern Music Essay Research Paper
The most important thing that was expressed about the definition of modern music is that the degree of modernism depends on the experience and taste of those whom are listening. This means that each person can have vastly different views on which musicians and what styles are considered modern, because the critique of all arts is merely opinion.
Modern Day Families Essay Research Paper Modern
Modern Day Families Essay, Research Paper Modern Day Families Modern families, while they may contain a different amount of members, or members of a different race, than the stereotypical family, are still an amalgamated unit and have the same love for one another no matter how many people, or of what race certain people are, are in it.
Shane Essay Research Paper Sometimes I need
Shane Essay, Research Paper Sometimes, I need you more than I need air And sometimes I miss you more than I will forever, never forget the times that we have shaared. The are priceless
Noah
’s Ark Essay, Research Paper Certain legends have fascinated people through history, being passed down generations through oral tradition and hearsay. ?Noah?s Ark? is a prime example of a story many people should be well acquainted with perhaps as sleepy-eyed children on a bright Sunday morning or through gazing at a cheerful illustration featuring a bearded man on a large boat with giraffes, hippos, and lions.
Gilgamesh And The Bible Essay Research Paper
Gilgamesh and the Bible In both the Epic of Gilgamesh and the Bible a common event takes place, a flood. The flood in both stories destroys all mankind. I feel that each flood serves as a symbol. Each one is a representive of rebirth and of a new beginning for all mankind. In the epic, Gilgamesh the gods decided to destroy mankind by flooding earth for six days and nights Gilgamesh and the other gods decided to destroy mankind by flooding earth for six days and nights.
The Birthmark 2 Essay Research Paper Response
The Birthmark 2 Essay, Research Paper Response Paper #2: The Birthmark 1. Our society tends to be obsessed with the idea of physical perfection. How does our society manifest that obsession? How is the Birthmark an early version of our modern obsession with physical perfection?
The Epic Of Gilgamesh And The Bible
: Comparing The Flood Stories Essay, Research Paper In both The Epic of Gilgamesh and the Bible, a flood takes place. The flood in both stories destroys most of mankind. These floods are a symbol. They represent rebirth and a new beginning for mankind, as well as the gods or God’s wrath. In the epic of Gilgamesh the gods decided to destroy mankind by flooding earth for six days and nights.
Comparing Gilgamesh To Genesis Essay Research Paper
Comparing Gilgamesh to Noah and the Flood In both Gilgamesh and Noah and the Flood, man’s wickedness leads to death, destruction, and rebirth all caused by billions of gallons of water sweeping the earth’s surface. The flood in both stories destroys most of mankind. The floods represent rebirth and a new beginning for mankind, as well as the gods and God’s wrath.
The Difference Between Post Modern Age And
Medieval Age Essay, Research Paper I feel that medieval times and today?s times differ extremely. Many people seem to think that it is much better in today?s times, but in some ways I feel differently.
Outdated Chivalry Essay Research Paper Outdated ChivalryChivalry
Outdated Chivalry Essay, Research Paper Outdated Chivalry Chivalry is based on a principal of bravery, pride, and gallantry toward women, and although chivalry was meant as a code for the righteous and good in the middle ages, it is outdated and will only lead to trouble in modern times.
Comparison Of Noah And The Epic Of
Gilgamesh Essay, Research Paper In The Epic of Gilgamesh there is a being called Gilgamesh who is almost perfect. He is two-thirds god and one-third man. He is mortal, but walks equal with the gods of Mesopotamia. Gilgamesh had unintentionally won the heart of Ishtar, the goddess of love, but he rejected her love and in turn Ishtar wanted revenge.
Beowulf Values Essay Research Paper Some Things
Beowulf Values Essay, Research Paper Some Things Change But Most Remain the Same Masculine values have both changed and remained constant since the writing of Beowulf. The values that Beowulf and
The Road Essay Research Paper Oh how
The Road Essay, Research Paper Oh how many times i have driven this road with butterflies in my stomach, a gleam in my eye. Just knowing i was going to see you.
French Government Essay Research Paper The modern
French Government Essay, Research Paper The modern French government is run very much like the government of the United States. France is a democratic republic that is divided into three branches,
Noah Claypole Essay Research Paper The Characterization
Noah Claypole Essay, Research Paper The Characterization of Noah Claypole The process of characterization is that which every author uses to make, build, or create a character. In Oliver Twist, the characterization of Noah Claypole, is carried out in three ways: the author has the character say things that tell the reader what sort of a person he is, do things that reveal his personality, and the author also has the storyteller describe Noah to expose things concerning his nature.
The Epic Of Gilgamesh Vs Noah And
The Flood Essay, Research Paper In both ?The Epic of Gilgamesh? and ?Noah and the flood?, a flood takes place. The flood in both stories destroys most of mankind. These floods are a symbol. They represent rebirth and a new beginning for mankind, as well as the gods or God’s wrath.
Comparing Flood Stories Essay Research Paper There
Comparing Flood Stories Essay, Research Paper There are different versions of flood stories in many different cultures. Each have certain similarities and differences between them. These two cultures have different gods and ideas of how gods acted. For Sumerians, there were many different gods and they acted much like humans.
Modern Atom Model Essay Research Paper The
Modern Atom Model Essay, Research Paper The evolution of the modern atom model took several years to evolved with contribution from different scientists. One of these scientists, the first to come up with a modern model of the atom is JJ Thomson. Thomson proposes that the structure of an atom is mainly a sphere.
Modern Philosophy Essay Research Paper 1 The
Modern Philosophy Essay, Research Paper 1. The modern world is considered to be the time from the Renaisance (late 15th to 16th century) to the end of the 19th century. Many changes took place during these times. We first see a change in the Division of Philosophy. We see the Medieval Theopocentric views change to an anthropocentric view and monotheism to humanism.
Beowulf Essay Research Paper HeroesWhat is a
Beowulf Essay, Research Paper Heroes What is a hero? Webster?s Dictionary defines a hero as someone who is admired for his achievements and qualities. The question is, does this definition
In The Life Of A Modern Man
Born In The Renaissance Essay, Research Paper Have you ever pondered the birth of your hobbies? Or have you ever wondered who invented the mechanisms you use in your everyday life? Well, modern art, today’s religion, and the present printing press had to originate some point in time. And what could be a better time then during the Renaissance and the Reformation? These three points were a major part of those years.
Comparion Of Flood Stories Essay Research Paper
Comparison of the Flood Stories There have been numerous flood stories identified from ancient sources throughout the world. The Bible and the Koran both have flood stories that are similar
Buddhist Economics Essay Research Paper Buddhist EconomicsMost
Buddhist Economics Essay, Research Paper Buddhist Economics Most people think that religion and economics don?t mix. So you would think the same in the case with Buddhism and economics. But actually the there is a set of rules that go along with our modern day economics that have their own meanings. Buddhists believe that spiritual health and well being go hand in hand.
The Playground Essay Research Paper I have
The Playground Essay, Research Paper I have a friend I used to know who had a playground where we would go The times we had are fresh in my mind but they are from another time
Hamlet Essay Research Paper In modern times
Hamlet Essay, Research Paper In modern times many crimes are exacted out of revenge. In the Elizabethan times, things were no different. Often times our feelings of unfairness and anger cloud our reasoning. The play Hamlet is an excellent illustration of this. In the play Hamlet revenge is the driving force behind the conflicts.