"Co-dependence". Что это такое?
Н.Г.Артемцева
Ни для кого не секрет, как много у нас в стране людей, страдающих алкоголизмом. Их лечат, уговаривают бросить пить, жалеют, пытаются помочь расстаться с этой порочной привычкой и т.д. Однако это весьма редко приносит ожидаемый результат. Мужчины и женщины пьют главным образом потому, что им нравится эффект, вызываемый алкоголем. Это ощущение столь неуловимо, что несмотря на признание причиняемого вреда, через какое-то время люди уже не могут сказать, что истинно, а что ложно. Их жизнь, отягощенная алкоголизмом, воспринимается ими как единственно нормальная. У таких людей привычка пить может оказаться настолько сильной, что она постепенно приводит их к физической и умственной де-градации.
Члены их семей и друзья смутно осознают, что эти пьяницы - ненор-мальные люди, но все ждут с надеждой того дня, когда страждущий проснется и проявит свою силу воли. И в результате сами оказываются втянутыми в зависимость от поведения больного, по сути, человека. Такая трагическая ситуация всегда наступает задолго до того, как они осознают это. Таким образом, алкоголизм в семье помагает возникновению "со-зависимости" как заболева-нию.Ученые утверждают, что "Co-dependence"("со-зависимость") - это болезнь. Отчасти потому, что поведение такого человека становится привычкой к саморазрушению.
"Со-зависимый" человек - тот, который, с одной стороны, позволяет поведению другого человека влиять на свою жизнь, а с другой - пытается контролировать это поведение. Этот "другой человек" может быть собственным ребенком, взрослым, любовником, мужемженой, сестрой, родителями, клиентом или лучшим другом. Онона может быть алкоголиком, наркоманом, душевно или физически больным человеком или просто подверженным частым депрессиям. Но дело не в том "другом человеке", который болен и зачастую знает об этом. Дело в том, кто находится рядом. Именно ему труднее всего осознать свое поведение как болезнь, именно он(она) расплачивается часто всю свою жизнь за чью-то зависимость от алкоголя, наркотиков, работы, депрессии и т.д.
Как явление , "Co-dependence "("со- зависимость") было вычленено в психологии сравнительно недавно. Никто точно не знает где, когда и кто впервые употребил этот термин. Но идея и динамика развития зависимости ближайшего окружения от поведения алкоголика, наркомана и др.была замечена еще в конце девятнадцатого века. И только в 1986 году в Америке появились первые анонимные группы для "Сo-dependents". А в 1990 году была создана NCC(National Council on Co-dependence) .
За это время были созданы тесты на определение наличия этого заболевания, а также созданы методы лечения и выхода из этого состояния. Они основаны на принципах, разработанных в программах Сообщества Анонимных Алкоголиков "Двенадцать ступеней" и "Двенадцать традиций" (Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions). Это:
групповая терапия ( взаимодействие);
индивидуальная психотерапия;
краткосрочная интенсивная психологическая помощь;
тренинги и учебные группы.
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