Paper
The 3 Horizontally Enhanced Pigs
Once upon a time there lived three pigs. Together they owned a very popular restaurant, ?Pork Boys.?
Each of the pigs made different burgers for different people. The first pig, Hamm was trying to watch his weight so he made Veggie Burgers.
The secound pig named Pork Chop made his burger with special High protein cheese and fat free thousand island dressing.
The third pig, Bacon, made the grease burger with three slabs of beef, four pieces of(turkey) bacon, five different cheeses, super fat secret sauce, grease on the side, and your choice of any bun except whole wheat.
?Flash!!! This just in. There have been reports of Richard Simons sightings in the area so head for high grounds and hide your oldies cassetes. This is not a test, I repeat not a test.?
?Hamm, lock the doors!?
? I?m on it Bacon.?
Bamm! Bamm! He was there, Richard Simons pounding on the window, ?Let me in folks and together we can get rid of those stormy thunder thighs.?
?Leader of the Pack.?
All of the sudden the customers began to dance to the hypnotic music.
Hamm tried to fend it (Ricard Simons) off with his Veggie Burger but than he realized that the Burger was not Fatty enough so he to began to dance.
Pork Chop in fear of his life lobed his burger into the beasts mouth. ?High protien cheese and non-fat dressing can not harm me. Ha, Ha, Ha!?
Pork Chop then was thrown into the trance and uncontrolably began to dance the watusi.
Is this the end of the line for the pigs? Will the pigs be covered in a blanket of exercise instead of panecake… But wait look over there could it be, yes it is Big Bacon Boy!
?Baa Baa Baa,? a trumpet sounded in the background.
?Ha, Ha Richard it is the end of the line for you. You are not wanted in this town or anywhere else for that matter so it is my duty to destroy you.?
Big Bacon Boy than launched his Grease Burger in the mouth of the Beast. Richard than stunned by the fat cried out in agony.
?Here Richard, take a taste of my chocolate malt machine gun!?
Rat-tat-tat-tat!
?No I am fattening up,? Ricard Simons moaned. ?Just when I had a perfect size 34 waist.?
After that day the pigs of the town lived without fear.
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