Women And Men Essay, Research Paper
It has become a troubling cliche that women feel unavoidably attracted to men who are completely wrong for them. This leads to other overarching platitudes that permeate our social interactions. All men are pigs. Nice guys finish last. The frustration over these seemingly impenetrable absolutes builds and builds until it bursts in a flurry of Cosmo quizzes. What’s going on, and can it be remedied?
You all know someone who’s been affected by this paradox, and probably have encountered it sometime yourselves. A friend of mine recently had her birthday ruined by her boyfriend. He accompanied her and many of her friends on a trip to Magic Mountain. After disappearing for hours, she finally found him. He was asleep in her car in the parking lot, which he had broken into in order to nap inside, the ideal resting place. His only present to her was a card. They are still together today.
I couldn’t have written a more ridiculous scenario myself. (Well, I could, but it would involve a lobster playing trombone.) Are women attracted to guys like this because somehow the qualities of meanness and insensitivity are inherently desirable?
The answer is no. Granted, there is a positive correlation between the degree of a male’s lack of compassion and his ability to engender the attention of the opposite sex, but as any of you know who have taken a statistics course, a correlation does not prove causation. There is an underlying factor that produces this result.
That factor is power. What women seek is someone who is powerful, who can control any situation and make things go his way. From an evolutionary standpoint, this means women are far more likely to be attracted to the guy who kills the charging lion than the guy who paints one on the cave wall.
If there is one thing that jerks certainly have, it is power. Women perceive them as having great security and influence. What they often fail to notice is that this power is derived through meanness and selfishness. Conversely, kindness and selflessness are perceived as signs of weakness.
I do not recommend, however, that women try to find comfort in the arms of the spineless.Spineless people aren’t necessarily kind. They simply possess too much cowardice to act on their angry impulses. Kindness is not the absence of malice; rather, it is the active pursuit of the satiation of the needs of others above one’s own.
It takes far greater strength to pursue good instead of evil, as the odds are stacked against the good. A jerk demonstrates his strength by dominating other males through force and/or humiliation. A kind man will be far subtler. My grandfather once gave me some advice on the subject. He said, “A great man doesn’t tell people how great he is. If he is truly great, then they will know it.”
Clearly something separates the boys from the men, but how to define that separation? Rudyard Kipling comes fairly close in his poem, “If.” I leave it to you to read it; it will be two minutes well spent. When it comes to how a male treats a woman, I have found a definition that seems to distinguish the mature from the immature.
A boy sees his woman as a treasure. She is beautiful, charming, intelligent, etc. The boy will recognize all of these positive attributes as valuable, and therefore worth preserving through his best efforts. He does not love her for herself, only for how she makes him feel about himself.
A man will treasure his woman. He will cherish her, support her, and devote the best fibers of his being to her. This is based on sacrifice and love, rather than on possession.
A treasure, noun, is an object worth keeping. But a relationship should not be a museum in which a male showcases his best piece. To treasure, a verb, implies upkeep and care, dedication and perseverance, love and honor. This is surely the measure of a man.
In trying to avoid sub-standard men, women often fall into another relationship sand trap, the older man. By older, I refer to an age they should be together. At the same time, our wants must be tempered with cognizance. The “plenty of fish in the sea” metaphor still applies to the beginning of a relationship. Squeeze a few tomatoes before you pick one out.
Most of us aren’t out there looking for husbands and wives just yet, so perhaps it is adaptive that the qualities that make a good spouse are not those we necessarily value in a college relationship. On the other hand, high school is over, so perhaps it’s time for the homo erectus in the varsity jacket to say goodbye.
I find it disheartening that women, seeking powerful men, would rather date Lex Luthor than Superman, or at least are more likely to fall for Luthor initially. Of course, not all guys fit neatly into the categories of heroes and villains.
In truth, we are neither. Ladies, give us the litmus test for selfishness. A man should be a pillar of strength to his woman, but he should be made of something warmer than cold stone.
Другие работы по теме:
Koran Essay Research Paper The Koran or
Koran Essay, Research Paper The Koran or Qur’an is the sacred scripture of Islam. A scripture so sacred it urges a total commitment to him alone who is god. (Grolier Interactive 98). I found that
Little Women By Louisa May Alcott 18321888
) Essay, Research Paper Louisa May Alcott’s most famous novel, Little Women is based on her own family life in Concord, Massachusetts. Like Jo, the book’s heroine, Louisa hungered to gain independence and to
Women And Shopping Essay Research Paper What
Women And Shopping Essay, Research Paper What motivates women to shop? I attempted to answer the age old question by surveying five ladies who are self-proclaimed experts at the “art” of shopping. These five ladies, Joanne, Kim, Marie, Shirley, and Kimmie sat down with me individually and this is what I basically gathered from the discussion sessions.
Women Essay Research Paper Apples could go
Women Essay, Research Paper Apples could go one better than oranges. The concentration of apples exceeds that of oranges. The firmness of apples goes all the way through, and the firmness of oranges modifies when the outer shell is detached. They tell you to cut up apples when you have braces, but they don?t tell you to cut up oranges.
Alice GerstenbergS Overtones Essay Research Paper In
Alice Gerstenberg?S ?Overtones? Essay, Research Paper In Alice Gerstenberg?s ?Overtones?, she presents two deceitful women, both insanely envious of the other, who meet one day over coffee. Two other actors living out their true feelings and being honest show the jealous, rude, but truthful, side of each of the women.
Woments Rights Essay Research Paper t was
Woments Rights Essay, Research Paper t was long ago when women were looked upon as slaves to the hard Working, man. In today’s society women now are more respected and are acceptable for many jobs as
Jane Eyre Essay Research Paper Caretakers had
Jane Eyre Essay, Research Paper Caretakers had an important role in the renaissance and the Victorian period. Mainly women were accepted to be a caretaker while their class was usually a low one. Their duty changed from period to period, their class was not bound to be low, but still, it was lower than the person who hired them.
Feminine Mystique Essay Research Paper The Feminine
Feminine Mystique Essay, Research Paper The Feminine Mystique The first couple of chapters of The Feminine Mystique basically points out that there was a major problem that was plaguing America’s female population during the 1950’s. The main idea behind this problem was that women were raised to basically become housewives.
Glass Ceiling Summary Essay Research Paper Utilitarianism
Glass Ceiling Summary Essay, Research Paper Utilitarianism favors unequal treatment in the work place.CONTROLLING IDEA: Big corporations should be forced into applying affirmative action to equal out the male/female ratio in management positions.
Abortion Essay Research Paper There are many
Abortion Essay, Research Paper There are many women who have choices to make in life that can be difficult or easy. One very difficult decision is whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. Most people should think before they act. If a woman has to terminate a pregnancy, it is because she wasn’t planning to get pregnant or because she did not use birth control.
St Elizabeth Essay Research Paper I chose
St. Elizabeth Essay, Research Paper I chose the name Elizabeth for my confirmation name after Saint Elizabeth. I feel that she is a very important part in history.
Islamic Women Essay Research Paper Many times
Islamic Women Essay, Research Paper Many times when feminists looked at Islamic women they criticized the man for not treating women properly. However, as Jane I. Smith states, women of Islam are not really offended by that fact, on the contrary, they believe that it is better for them.
Reiters Syndome Essay Research Paper Equal Rights
Reiters Syndome Essay, Research Paper Equal Rights for Women During the nineteenth century, the women suffrage movement was coming out full force to demand the equal rights of women in the United States and Europe. The women who supported the women’s suffrage adapted a Declaration of Principles that simply stated that, “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal” (Perry, 1995, p.194).
Women In War Essay Research Paper Women
Women In War Essay, Research Paper Women in War and How They Made a Difference Women who served in past wars were considered heroines, and were presented with many different, honorable awards. Women served many purposes during the war. Such as: nurses who amputated and helped soldiers, translators who spoke for the French, telephone operators who connected important phone calls to different places, and many more non-combat roles.
Women In India Essay Research Paper The
Women In India Essay, Research Paper The Changing Role of Women in India Women in India are beginning to follow the direction that the women of the Western world took more than eighty years ago; demanding treatment as human equals. However, it has become more and more evident as the revolution ages that Indian women may have to adapt the Western feminist method to their very traditional and religious culture.
Womens Rights Essay Research Paper Women rightsThroughout
Womens Rights Essay, Research Paper Women rights Throughout history of Western civilization, deep-seated cultural beliefs allowed women only limited roles in society. Many people believed that women’s natural roles were as mothers and wives. These people considered women to be better suited for childbearing and homemaking rather than for involvement in the public life of business or politics.
Abortion Essay Research Paper My personal opinion
Abortion Essay, Research Paper My personal opinion about abortion is that it should stay legal. I believe that it is the woman’s choice because it’s her body, and no one else should be allowed to tell her what she can, and can’t do with it.
The Prevalence Of Breast Cancer Among Black
Women Essay, Research Paper Exploring the Growth of Breast Cancer Among African American Women Breast cancer develops as an abnormal growth of cells accumulate within the breast. Recent studies have proven that White
Delinquent Daughters Summary Essay Research Paper Delinquent
Delinquent Daughters Summary Essay, Research Paper ?Delinquent Daughters Summary? Delinquent Daughters by Mary E. Odem touches on many topics involving women residing in the U.S. from 1885 to 1920. Not only does the book raise issues about women as a whole, but also it breaks the women into a more realistic view.
Jealousy In Gender Essay Research Paper The
Jealousy In Gender Essay, Research Paper The Influence of Jealousy in Men and Women in response to Infidelity Jealousy can be defined as ‘ a fear and rage reaction fitted to protect, maintain, and
Mr Essay Research Paper Aspects of the
Mr. Essay, Research Paper Aspects of the Perfect Female The ideal woman of today’s society would contain the following qualities: intelligence, honesty, a sense of humor, spontaneity, assertiveness,
Womens Brains Essay Research Paper English 104Essay
Womens Brains Essay, Research Paper English 104 Essay This is a brief summary of the essay “Women’s Brains” by Stephen Jay Gould, published in The Panda’s Thumb in 1980. Gould feals that the study of this is irrelevant to the field that they are studying and that the experiments should not have been conducted.
Wife Of Bath From The Canterbury Tales
Essay, Research Paper The most obtentatious of the travlers, the Wife of Bath has been married five times and is currently searching for another man to marry. The Wife of BAth is opinionated and boisterous, and her tale which centers around the question “what do women want?,” promotes her view that women wish to have autority over men.
Womens Rights Essay Research Paper The First
Womens Rights Essay, Research Paper The First Women?s Rights Movement Was their fight successful? A group of women set out to make a point. A point that women don?t have to be dependent on men; that they can live their own lives with their own individual rights and beliefs. All these women wanted was a chance to live a life free of the constant pressures and contradictions.
Antigone Essay Research Paper Analysis on the
Antigone Essay, Research Paper Analysis on the conflict men v. women found in Antigone Many conflicts can be found within various plays. In Sophocles’ Antigone one of the many conflicts found is men versus women. The king of Thebes, Creon, has a problem with women. But not only the king, Ismene, Antigone’s sister as well refers to herself and her sister as being inferior to men.
Women Pioneers Essay Research Paper A Journey
Women Pioneers Essay, Research Paper A Journey Through Hardship The pioneer women didn?t have many rights at all. They were pretty much always controlled by the men, and weren?t ?allowed? to do anything on their own. They had to obey all men and if they were married, that made it even harder for them. The women were mainly responsible for caring for the kids, taking care of the crops and keeping the house neat; health, food, and family.
Women In Television Essay Research Paper The
Women In Television Essay, Research Paper The role of women in television has had an impact important on humanity and on life in America. The image of women in situation comedies has changed. Women in our society have played many roles. During this period from the decades of the 1950 s through the 1990 s, women started getting their own jobs and got better schooling.
How Were Women Treated In Julius Caesars
Time Essay, Research Paper Essay: How Were Women Treated in Julius Caesar’s Time? By: Andrew MillardWe are always striving for equality between the sexes. For many years women were seen as being less than men, and inferior to them. This is shown simply by one history-altering incident. The incident that I’m referring to is when the women were finally allowed to vote.
Men And Women Are Different Essay Research
Paper Men and Women Different? Are women and men really that different? I think so. I am at a stage in my life where I think all men are after one thing. Sex. When I sit here and think about it, I really have to think, do women and men have anything in common. Women communicate in a completely different manner than women.
Symbols Of Women Essay Research Paper Symbols
Symbols Of Women Essay, Research Paper Symbols of Women There are many symbols placed on women in today’s society. These symbols act as stereotypes that usually degrade women on a daily basis. However, many of these symbols are just a term, and have no meaning behind them. An example of this is the reference of women being referred to as “dogs.”