In recent years, more and more fathers have attempted to win custody of their children following a divorce. Despite the earnest efforts to remain a part of their children s lives, these fathers remain at a disadvantage when it comes to child custody disputes. The system has made father s visitors of their children s lives; visitors who can pick their children up for a few hours every now and then, as long as it doesn t interfere too much with Mom s new life. I feel that although mothers are good parents in the majority of cases, fathers also have the same capabilities and they should be given custodial rights to their minor children.
In order for a man to succeed in maintaining a decent relationship with his kids (and by decent I mean in terms of time with the kids and even some responsibility for major issues affecting the lives of the children), he has to be what I call, “super dad. Dad has to prove to the court that he is one of those exceptional fathers who is tuned to all of the kids needs. For example, in Alexander Petrunkevitch s essay The Spider and the Wasp, he analyzes the process by which the wasps use tarantulas as their food source for their young ones. Petrunkevitch illustrates his fascination for both insects by observing them and their habits. In the last four paragraphs of the essay, Petrunkevitch demonstrates the struggle between both insects and between struggle in what looks like intelligence.
Likewise, in the area of child custody law, fathers struggle to gain custody of their children but are denied the right to be the kind of parents they want to be just because they are men.
Fathers should be given the chance to take custody of their minor children because of the psychological well being (self-esteem, anxiety, depression, problem behaviors) of their children. Moreover, fathers can rear and nurture their children and are equally capable of managing the responsibilities of custody, and are more effective when it comes to matters like discipline and enforcing limits. There are some lawyers who say that a man would never win a custody issue because he is a man, and that the law sees that women are more nurturing. I believe the law needs to look deeper into the family, to see what is really going on before they just grant the children like objects, to the women.
Still, much research needs to be undertaken. The courts must see who is the better parent, for the children, and not just because that parent is a woman. After all, it is what’s best for our children and the children of the future that we all get together and make our laws fair.
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