Paper
Seilgrank (seilgrank@schoolsucks)
Am. Lit.
Persuasion Paper
12-11-97
Everyone knows the legend of Santa Claus, right? A jolly little fat man in a red
and white suit gathers up a bag full of toys and loads them into his sleigh where he and
his eight magical reindeer fly off into the night and deliver the toys to the children of the
world on Christmas eve, then fly back to Santa?s workshop at the North Pole where his
elves help him prepare again for next year all before the rising of the sun. Sounds like a
great thing, huh? A harmless tale told time and time again of a man who does nothing but
bring joy to the world, right? Wrong! Santa Claus may seem to be the ideal spirit of
Christmas but he is in fact the very embodiment of all that is unholy. He is a wolf in
sheep?s clothing who has been sent from the fiery pits of hell to devour our souls! Doubt
me, do you? Yes, I see you do. I don?t blame you. After all, the legend of Santa Claus as
a loving, caring individual has been around for hundreds of years, passed down from
generation to generation for as long as any one of us can remember. But unfortunately,
this tradition of passing the tale down from parent to child has merely been a vessel for
the seed of evil to pass in; to hide amongst us as a Trojan horse in the guise of a jolly fat
man! You see, we have been but blind sheep, lead by our parents who were lead by
theirs, into believing that he is good! But he is not! I see you need proof. Very well, then
it is proof I shall give you!
Santa Claus does not, as one might believe, help promote the celebrating of the
birth of Christ. No, in fact he does quite the opposite. Santa commercializes Christmas by
giving away presents. He makes us greedy. We come to expect the presents, and soon
that is all we think about. When Christmas time comes near, do you think of what prayer
you will recite, or do you think of what gift you want? Do you spend some time with your
family, each of you quietly celebrating the birth of Christ, or do you noisily rip into the
presents under the tree? Most of you would probably answer in favor of the latter. And
why? Because of Santa Claus. But this is not my only evidence of Kriss Kringle?s crimes
against Christmas! No! It is but the tip of the iceberg. Santa also tries to destroy this
beloved holiday by not giving us presents. Haven?t you ever written to Santa, asking for
that one special gift, but come Christmas morning it is nowhere to be found? This is
because he waits until we are hooked; he gives us gifts until we come to expect them as a
right, then he dashes our hopes by not giving us what we really want. You see, when we
do not get that one special gift it causes such sorrow and hatred that we begin to despise
Christmas. We hate the day that reminds us of our disappointment. And so we stop
celebrating Christmas altogether. And when he does give us our gifts, does he do it for
nothing? No! We are forced to pay him a tribute of milk and cookies or suffer having a
Christmas with a disappointed family!
Not only do Santa?s actions show him as being one of evil, but his very
appearance and origins do as well. His name, ?Santa Claus?, when you rearrange a few
letters, spells Satan Claus, or the claws of Satan! His very name shows him to be the
Devil?s right hand man! And the suit that Santa wears also betrays him as being a servant
of the unholy one; all red like the fires of hell with white trimming where you would find
the bone white horns of a demon. Early on, Santa was called Saint Nicholas, and from
the 5th to 15th centuries he was regarded as the patron saint of thieves! What else could
you expect from a man who breaks into houses in the middle of the night? He was said to
ride through the sky on a horse, much like one of the fabled Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse. He impersonated people of the cloth by traveling the country in bishop?s
robes, and often was seen in the companionship of an elf known as Black Peter, who
would whip naughty children. Perhaps you are thinking, ?Well, he couldn?t have been all
that bad, if he was known as Saint Nicholas, right?? Wrong again. The name Nicholas, or
Nick, means to cut, meaning Saint Nicholas was cut from saintdom! How about Santa?s
other alias, Kriss Kringle. A Kriss is a sword with a wavy, double edged blade, meaning
that while Santa pretends to be a tool that you can use to fight the devil, he will actually
cut you on the backswing.
And how about Santa?s so-called helpers, the elves? Small, pointy eared men who
can build things unnaturally fast? Sound like demons in disguise to me. Or what of the
flying reindeer? Santa?s familiars? Just look at their names: Dasher, meaning to be
damned. Dancer, meaning to engage in or perform. Engage in or perform what? Acts of
evil, no doubt. Donder, which means to assume or take on a role, like acting to be a
friend when he is really your darkest enemy. Cupid, a false Roman god represented by a
nude child armed with a bow and arrows. Blitzen, a swift, sudden air attack. Prancer, to
walk about or strut in a proud manner, and pride is one of the most deadly of sins. Vixen,
a quarrelsome, shrewish, and malicious woman. And Comet, a celestial body, like that
which is used in such witchcrafts as Astrology.
I think that all of this should be enough to prove to even the most stubborn of
disbeliveers that Santa is in fact a real threat, and should be removed from our society
and revealed to be the real danger that he is before he can be allowed to sink his talons
further into the souls of our children.
(Note by the Author: This paper was written for a Creative Writing assignment, the purpose of which was to convince the audience of your point of view through persuasion. If you research all of the facts in this paper, you will notice that many are twisted or lies with a little truth thrown in, as it is with many speeches or writing that try to convince someone of something. My point of the writing was this: Don’t always believe something just because it was written on paper. Thanks – Seilgrank)
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